Yesterday, while scrolling through Instagram Stories, a blogger friend of mine shared the details of some hardships that she was experiencing and requested prayers from her followers.
One of the things that she mentioned resonated with me and my initial reaction was to let her know that I too experienced the baby blues postpartum. Immediately after, I had that thought, my gut told me: “Just wish her well and say words of encouragement. Don’t make it about you.” So, that’s what I did.
My intentions weren’t to hijack her pain and make it about me, but I followed my gut because sometimes people simply want to be heard. This doesn’t only apply to moments of sadness, it can also apply to happy moments, too.
Outfit details: Simplee Apparel Sweater/Dolce Vita Boots/Levi Jeans (similar) (similar)/Gap Scarf (similar)
I’m not saying that sharing similar experiences with someone isn’t healthy or good. Oftentimes, it’s a reminder that their experience is normal and it opens the door for them to know that they’re celebrated, loved, valued, not alone when they need a shoulder to lean on for advice and support.
However, we could also run the risk of unintentionally diminishing the significance of what they’re experiencing by overshadowing it with our “I feel that way too!” interjections. We have to find the perfect balance of when to indulge and when to have a sit back and listen, which is easier said than done.
There are times when it’s clear that a person is crying out for help or is looking to be celebrated and we should definitely speak up, in those cases. But, we have to be vigilant and sensitive during those moments when they just want to vent.
I understand that social media is all about being social, so people will send DMs and leave comments in response to people’s posts, but we should still take a moment to pause before we respond to things. Let’s challenge ourselves to assess the situation and think about the intentions behind our response. If our intentions are good then our responses will reflect that. Who’s with me?!
I’m interested to know if you can relate. Chime in and let me know how you gauge when to share your experiences and when to simply be a listening ear.
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Ciao Bellas,
